Thursday, October 25, 2012

Lola J: MIA

Photo c/o weheartit. These three words are exactly how I've felt the last few weeks.

I felt like a little (correction: big) explanation as to where I’ve been was in order:

So study seems to of consumed my life... well for the last year (sort of three), but I’m talking more specifically about the last few weeks. This was the home stretch of full time study for my degree so it was crunch time: In the last week alone I had 5 big tests and 2 huge lab reports due (160% of assessment)! That just shouldn't be allowed. Being the final hoorah of my study stress I expected a surge of energy to make it to that growing light at the end of the tunnel but that was hardly the case. Instead of a heroic sprint to finish on a high note I felt more like I’d lost a few limbs along the way and was dragging myself out commando style.  

I’m pleased I've stuck with this university thing because I really do feel like study is a big struggle for me and it certainly doesn't come easy. I've liked being pleasantly surprised with what I’m capable of and seeing what I can achieve, yet at the same time I really don’t like how I think about myself and who I am when wearing my ‘having-to-study-hard’ hat and those feelings I think have been a lot harder to deal with than the course work itself.

Being so study committed means that I just haven’t had the mental capacity to manage other things in my life, meaning that a lot of important things have suffered. So I am now looking forward to being able to spend time on the relationships that matter to me, to read for pleasure (boy, do I miss that!), to spend money on stuff (reasonably) guilt free, to work on my fitness and get my body healthy, to find new hobbies (yay!) and just spend time doing whatever the hell I feel like doing! I started a list of things I want (read: instead of NEED) to do once I had this study stuff out of the way and am so so excited to now get onto ticking them all off. So I plan on spending a bit more time round here, documenting things a little more interesting than the 3000 words I've managed to write in a few hours. 

Lola J xo

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